Monday, August 20, 2012

Dear Jeremy Thompson, Eagerly Awaiting your Reply




So a few months ago I got an angry email from one Jeremy Thompson. 
He was kind of unhappy with the tone and content of my article outlining The Top 10 Canadian Television Shows of All Time
Here's what Jeremy had to say:

On Thu, May 31, 2012 at 5:29 PM, Jeremy Thompson wrote:
Who da fuck do you think you are? Just because you lives in Toronto doesn't give you the right to make fun of the rest of Canada. Most of us enjoy Flashpoint and many other Canadian TV productions. Oh, and This Hour Has 22 minutes has been on the air for almost 20 years and it's still on for a reason. Stop being a douchebag

Sunday, August 19, 2012

5 Awesome Things about the 2012 Canadian National Exhibition

It's that time of year again. You can tell that summer is almost over because the CNE is here. 
So what works this year?
Here are the top 5 things at the 2012 Canadian National Exhibition:

1. Counterfeit Kids Toys

All the classic Care Bear characters: Cheer Bear, Tenderheart Bear, Hotaru Assassin Bear, Funshine Bear
Every couple of years there'll be a news story or two about how toy companies are angry with the unlicensed, brand-damaging, sweat-shop made prizes being handed out at various midway games.

Friday, August 17, 2012

If Blue Jays were Superheroes: Special Retro Edition


Toronto's half-assed answer to San Diego Comic Con is coming soon. The end of summer means sweaty cosplaying nerds from all around the Golden Horseshoe will soon gather to celebrate their pathetic, virginal-dork-ridden culture (I AM KIDDING. I'm going. I'll be the guy wearing a garbage bag and calling myself Robocop).

So in honor of "Fan Expo" lets look at the Blue Jays, if they were comic book characters.

For this installment, something special... RETRO BLUE JAYS SUPER FLASHBACK FRIDAY EDITION!

Todd Stottlemyre is Longshot

Todd Stottlemyre is Longshot
I don't know what is going on with Stottlemyre in this pic,
but dammit if it doesn't encapsulate his time with the Jays.

Longshot isn't the most well-known superhero.

But dammit he is the most Stottlemyrian.

If Blue Jays were Superheroes: Jose Bautista, Edwin Encaracion, John Farrell and Brett Lawrie


Toronto's half-assed answer to San Diego Comic Con is coming soon. The end of summer means sweaty cosplaying nerds from all around the Golden Horseshoe will soon gather to celebrate their pathetic, virginal-dork-ridden culture (I AM KIDDING. I'm going. I'll be the grown man dressed up like a god damn Pokemon.).

So in honor of "Fan Expo" lets look at the Blue Jays, if they were comic book characters.


Jose Bautista, Edwin Encarnacion, John Farrell & Brett Lawrie are The Fantastic Four.

Farrell makes a sexy blonde
Yeah, I know Lawrie's hair in this pic looks more like DC comic's Firestorm than Human Torch. Shut up, nerd. 

Jose Bautista is 100% Reed Richards a.k.a. Mr. Fantastic 
In fact now that I think about it, the moniker "Joey Bats" is getting a little tired. Toronto needs a new nickname for Bautista and Mr. Fantastic really fits.

If Blue Jays were Superheroes: Colby Rasmus

Toronto's half-assed answer to San Diego Comic Con is coming soon. The end of summer means sweaty cosplaying nerds from all around the Golden Horseshoe will soon gather to celebrate their pathetic, virginal-dork-ridden culture (I AM KIDDING. I'm going. I'll be the fat dude dressed like Sailor Moon).

So in honor of "Fan Expo" lets look at the Blue Jays, if they were comic book characters.


Colby Rasmus is Ghostrider

Mike Wilner: Tell me Colby, how has being transformed into a demon of vengeance affected your approach at the plate?
Colby Rasmus: Uhhhh... mumble... mumble... mumble

Their biographies are almost identical.
Ghost Rider is Johnny Blaze, a motorcycle daredevil who dies in a horrific stunt after selling his soul to

If Blue Jays were Superheroes: Ricky Romero

Toronto's half-assed answer to San Diego Comic Con is coming soon. The end of summer means sweaty cosplaying nerds from all around the Golden Horseshoe will soon gather to celebrate their pathetic, virginal-dork-ridden culture (I AM KIDDING. I'm going. I'll be the guy dressed up as Cloud Strife).

So in honor of "Fan Expo" lets look at the Blue Jays, if they were comic book characters.

Ricky Romero is The Green Lantern.

With the luck the Jays have had this year, this is the closest anyone will get to a World Series ring

If you asked me last year what comic book character best exemplifies Ricky Romero, I probably would have gone a different route.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

David Cooper: Blue Jays Kingpin

So the other day I made a bit of a flip post about David Cooper being the next John Olerud.

I am now officially standing behind that.

For two reasons.

Firstly - Apparently I can't figure out how to get fan graphs to work. But I know my fucking statistics dammit.  Uhh... this chart below shows that at age 25 Cooper has a similar batting average to John Olerud...


Olerud was the king of hitting for average. (yeah, my chart is weak, but it's getting late and I just want to compare Cooper to Daredevil/Ben Affleck).

At the end of the day, I'm getting a 100% Olerudian vibe from Cooper.